I don't want this post to be taken the wrong way..I write my blog for my family's journals, and scrapbooks. So when I have thoughts that need to be written down, this is where it happens. I keep it open for the rare chance that someone else might be feeling the same way and need to know they're not alone..and for those long lost friends that might come across and it want to keep up with us.
So our new Relief Society Presidency came over last week to get to know me and our family. After chatting for awhile, they each talked about themselves and then wanted to know me and what I like to do etc...it was funny, when they asked, "what do you like to do?"..I had to pause for a minute and then I answered "I can't remember." At first I laughed it off...and then answered with things that I used to do and loved.
I know motherhood shouldn't become that, but for some us, our situations add up to that. For Chris and I, we've been married 4 years and now have 3 kids. We moved every 6 months for the first 3 years, and have been scraping by while he's been in school. That doesn't allow for a lot of going out and doing things that may cost money..ie (girls nights that are at restaurants, movies, shopping, sports leagues, etc), hobbies such as crafting cost money..and the list goes on. It doesn't allow for hardly any "me" time, when kids come that close and need your attention 24/7. I can't even go to the bathroom or shower without kids trying to dive in or them pounding down the door. I'm not writing this post to complain about having kids, or the fact that I'm blessed to be able to stay at home, or complain about money. It's just when they asked me that, I realized how long it's been since I did things I love, that I couldn't remember what I used to do. All I could think of was..."I would like to get out."
How do you balance that line between your identity and being a mother? Or is that your new identity once you have kids? I have lots of friends that have frequent girls nights and that are in sports leagues, that get plenty of time away from the kids to get out on their own. Not to point fingers, but the ones that get out the most are the ones with husband's that work from home or who own their businesses etc so they can come and go and help out more. Now that Chris has this job, maybe things will calm down more so we can find our own routine that will allow for more time away. I don't even know what I'd do if I got a few hours to myself..sadly, the past few years my first answer would be to sleep.
Here's some things I've thought up that I want to do with time to myself:
Exercise (run, Zumba or crossfit class, a video w/out kids crawling all over me)
read
play the piano
make crafts
watch a movie
get my hair done
hang out with friends
not very exciting, I know. But I can't remember the last time I did any of those without kids whining and interrupting. This was just a post to ramble..not to complain, because I know how blessed I am. I love my kids, and they are my life. They make my life so worthwhile..it's just their needs to be "me" time in there as well.
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4 comments:
I should write you an email about this. Give me a few days to respond. I have a bit to say on this topic.
It is so true, especially at your stage when ALL 3 of your kids are so little. It gets so so much easier and you feel a lot more freedom as they get older. It def helps to have a husband who can help. That is waht saves me. I love all the pictures above, it's so worth it. I love your kids.
Its hard to find who you are as a woman after having kids. I went through this same thing just a few weeks ago. I love my kids too and wouldn't give up my life for anything but you're right, when you can't even go to the bathroom in peace you know it's time to get some me time lol. I've been waking up at the butt crack of dawn to get mine lately. I'm SO tired by nighttime but it is so worth it :). Also I've had to start planning things and just telling my hubby in advance. I still feel weird about going anywhere without my family, but it makes me a happier wife and mother :) I'll be thinking about you on your journey to find yourself :) good luck!
I SOOOO know how you are feeling. I have had those same feelings a lot. I have learned that my dream of being a mom and still being able to be free to play sports or whatever else I want isn't going to be a reality. I decided my dream isn't dying, just changing. I have learned to enjoy other things, like game nights after the kids are in bed, finding old free things to do crafts with, blogging, taking pictures, cooking and baking, and especially reading scriptures. This helps me feel so much more peace. Things do get easier, hard to believe, but they do:)
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