Change

I'm going to come out of the closet, so to speak :) I have my story on my coaching page (beachbodycoach.com/mindyjrose)...but I have felt the need to write it down here for quite some time. It makes me uncomfortable, the first time I have vocally talked about it in front of people was at my Shake and Share last week. But Chris and I have made the decision to open up our lives and dedicate the rest of our lives to helping people change theirs.

 

I have struggled with bulimia for 12 years. The only time I really stopped was during my pregnancies. I get horribly sick with them, and I tried really hard to get some nourishment to my babies. It's something that in my mind, I came to the conclusion that I will struggle with it my whole life. That I had messed up, and it's impossible to overcome. I had tried so many times to stop, but I just couldn't. But in the past year, and especially since finding Beachbody, I know it's part of my past now, and I am the one who controls my future. I pray that my story can get out there and keep even just one person from struggling with this. The thoughts/addiction that come from it are beyond hard to overcome. There is nothing about it that's worth it.  I've been controlled by negative thoughts/depression/eating disorder for the majority of my past. I wish I could say I take back the day I started..because the addiction it turns into is as strong as any drug. It has changed so much about me and turned me into someone that I know isn't me. But I can't regret it, because the places I have been to emotionally and physically, have molded me into who I'm trying to become.

 

I feel this power inside that is trying to come out. I know that I have potential to become the person I was sent down here to be. Do I still doubt that I can sometimes? Yes, but unlike my past..I am kicking that out and tearing down the walls that have confined me for too long. I have a divine nature, I have confidence that I can do hard things, I can be confident in who I am and what I'm capable of doing. We have dreams that we are going to achieve. Not maybe, Not someday..we WILL achieve them. There is no reason in the world, that we can't become all that we were meant to become. I am so tired of being self conscious, and being scared to do anything in front of people. I'm tired of trying on 10 outfits and wearing baggy clothes. I'm tired of using excuses for never going anywhere or doing more than what's asked of me. I'm tired of being so quiet around people, and being scared to meet new people. I'm tired of not being the person I know I can be. I'm tired of the life I've lived for so long, because it wasn't me. We are the ones who hold ourselves back. We are the only ones who can change our thoughts. And when we change our thoughts, it changes our actions, and we can change our lives.

 

I am learning to be grateful for my past, as much as I may wish I knew then what I know now. I am able to have empathy for those who have been to those places. I can relate, I can pass on what I've learned and am learning each day. I've had to rely on my Savior and the Atonement in ways that I may never have if I hadn't gone down that road. My struggle is something I will continue to fight against each day, as I feel the pressure of the adversary trying to keep me still. I have felt this so strongly the past few weeks. Chris and I are fighting obstacles left and right to keep us still and quiet. Satan doesn't want us to improve and become better. Something like Beachbody, that may seem so little..changes more than just your physical body. It's an all around transformation when given 100%. So when you improve your health, it improves who you are inside..and any improvement gets in the way of Satan's plan.

 

I still have to fight off thoughts each day, but I have learned the past year that the only foods to fear are the unhealthy ones...and not just because they turn into fat, it's because they don't give your body any nutrients whatsoever. So having a kitchen that is full of clean healthy foods has set me up for success. I can eat a plate full of food, and for the first time in my life, I'm not scared. In fact, I know that plate is going to help me lose weight and give me energy. This is a journey for us, but I am getting more comfortable in my skin and it's so exciting to see what our bodies are capable of and becoming.

Life can be hard..that's inevitable. But what we do with the challenges is up to us. We don't have to let them keep us down and just make it day to day. We are so much stronger than we know. We can handle hard things..Heavenly Father sent us down with everything we need to overcome trials. We can have a GREAT life. You have to WANT it bad enough to work for it. I am at a point now, where I refuse to go back to the life I was living. That's not who I was meant to be, and I know there's bigger things in store. I want to be more..and I want more for my family and my children and I want to make a different in other's lives.